When You Think You Can’t Go On Anymore

“I can’t go on, Lord. I have had enough,” I said to myself one Sunday evening. I placed a bottle of sleeping pills in front of me as I sat on my bed.


pills (Photo credit: Mouse)

I had been depressed for several months. I was extremely stressed working in my job, and I was upset with God that I was still single. I was already in my 30s and still not yet married. My hopes and dreams were dashed.

For several months, I went through the motions of going to church every Sunday, and serving Him in full time ministry. But I felt that my life was going in a direction that I had no control over. I felt hopeless and all alone in this world. I was ashamed and didn’t talk to anyone because I felt family and friends wouldn’t understand.

I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up in pain anymore. I cried out to God to take away my pain.

“I waited and waited and waited for God.
 At last he looked; finally he listened.
 He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip.” Psalms 40:1-2, MSG.

During this time, God reminded me that I have an enemy, Satan, who would love to get credit for cutting my life short. But God showed me that my life was greater than my present circumstances, and what I was experiencing now, did not determine my future.

Life isn’t always fair, but God is just. I didn’t have the last say so over my life, He did, and my future was blessed. God begin to speak life into my destiny, to give me hope.

“The days of my life all prepared
 before I’d even lived one day.” Psalms 139:16, MSG

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

Prayer of Healing

Father, I thank You that You are showing me that I am not without hope. Hope says that there is always the expectation of good coming to me. Lord, Your good surrounds me like a shield. Lord, help me to remember You are the only one that has the authority to give and take life. Forgive me for not honoring Your authority as I consider taking matters into my own hands. Show me the wonderful destiny and plans You have for me.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


Leaving the Past Behind

“If you don’t do this now you may never do it,” I told myself. I knew it was time for me to move on and take a step of faith.

English: a moving train captured from another ...

English: a moving train captured from another train (stationed) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It is hard to leave the known and familiar for the unknown, even when we know what we are holding onto is blocking our future.

It was time for me to resign from my job and start my own ministry. My heart had already moved on from the place where I presently was, but my body continued to be there, going through all the physical motions. It was difficult to leave a job that gave me a salary, and to start raising my own support from scratch.

I had wanted to stay in my comfort zone even though I knew I could not fulfill the dream God gave me. God did me a favor by leading my heart out first, so that it would be easier for me to follow physically.

God is always moving us forward into greater areas of our destiny, but when we stop to build a monument to our past, it holds us back from focusing on our future.

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.” Philippians 3:13, ESV

No matter how difficult our past was, we sometimes cling on to it and refuse to let it go. It could be a dead end job, a failed marriage, a hurtful childhood or an abusive relationship.

Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?”  Isaiah 43: 18-19, MSG

Let’s not carry the past around like excess bag. Learn from our past life lessons and move on. God wants to give a fresh sheet of paper to write our new future, and not to rewrite the old past.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so.” Unknown

“Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind. C. S. Lewis

 “When one door closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

God has a wonderful plan for our life! Go, take the plunge to move out from your past and into your destiny. Say Good-Bye to the past! Even if you are afraid, do it anyway.

“I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11, MSG

Heavenly Father, help me to be bold enough to put my past behind me so that I can step into my hopeful future with You.  Show me the lessons that my past held so that I can learn from them as well as avoid the same pitfalls. Thank You for loving me so much that You are committed to seeing me fulfilled my destiny. In Jesus Name, Amen.