Lies We Believe

“I will never do that again,” “I will never over eat like that,” “I will never spend that much money again”

Description unavailable

Description unavailable (Photo credit: d e x t e r .)

We vow to ourselves that we won’t do certain behaviors and actions ever again. We promise ourselves over and over again that we won’t do it, only to find ourselves doing it again. Where do those lies come from? Sometimes these lies come from us, other people’s values and influences, or by Satan himself.

Satan is always trying to devalue us, and to make us think that God is not for us. He wants us to believe a lie about God and about ourselves. He tells us a lie, and makes it seem that it is true. When we buy into it, we own the lie as if this is what we truly believe, or accept as the truth about us and our circumstances.

Lies We Hear 

Growing up as a child, we are often influenced by our families, those in authority and friends who spoke both truth and lies into our life that we assumed as facts.

  • “You are stupid, you will never be as good as your sister or brother.”
  • “Strong boys never cry.”
  • “You are too fat.”
  • “You’re not very good looking.”

When we began to take them into our soul, we begin to list them as facts, and act as if this is really true about ourselves.

Lies Man Tell

  • “It’s all my bosses’ fault why I am not promoted”
  • “I lost my job because of the economic recession.”
  • “I lost job because my bosses’ friend took the job away from me.”
  • “I was not promoted because I didn’t get the support from my wife at home when I needed it most.”

Man lies about his work because he derives his identity from his work. God gave man work before He gave him a woman.

Lies Woman Tell

  • “I am too fat. I can’t compete with younger and beautiful woman.”
  • “I am not worth being loved, so I stayed in this abusive relationship because this is the best I can do.”
  • “He just trying to encourage me when he tells me that I am ugly and fat.”

Woman lies about how she feels about her relationships, because a woman was given to the man to be a helpmate. She finds her fulfillment in a home and being a helpmate.

Flower photo

Flower photo (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Who We Really Are

God wants us to go to the Word and find out who we really are. We are the most valuable being in the universe because it cost God, the Father, His Son, and it cost Jesus, His life for us. When we replace the lie with the truth of God’s word, we will gain freedom to speak the truth about who we are.

For a long time, I felt that God favored other people instead of me. Their lives looked better than mine. They had better jobs and better relationships. Therefore, I believed that God doesn’t love me the same way He loved others.

I knew this wasn’t right and that was the lie. As I began questioning God, new thoughts rose up in my spirit.

God is my greatest cheerleader, and He felt an extravagant love for me. There was nothing He wouldn’t do for me.

I replaced the negative thoughts with the truth, and this has brought such joy to my heart.

“If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” John 14:23, ESV

Replace the lies about yourself with the truth of God’s Word. When we learn to speak God’s Word about ourselves, we will be truthful to ourselves.

Father, I ask You to free me from all the lies I believed about myself. Unveil Your truth into my being so that I may see what You see about me and who I am. Free me from all the lies I believed from my childhood, and from other people’s influence. I will not be controlled by the lies of others, because I choose God’s freedom and to walk in truth. Thank You for freeing me from false identity, fear, confusion, and Satan’s deception.

In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

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When Words Can Kill

“You can’t trust men, they are all the same,” “I will never have a baby,” “I can’t talk in public,” “I’ll get even with them if it’s the last thing I do,” “I will never love anyone like that anymore.”

Words are containers that bring us blessing or curses. You choose the words to speak life or death.

Flower photo

Flower photo (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Jody* (not her real name) was the eldest of five children, and her parents had to work all the time. Since the tender age of six, Jody had to take care of her siblings like she was the mom. She fed them, bathed them, and cooked for them. Jody grew up resenting her role. She had to be a mom to her siblings until she was 18.

“I raised my sisters and brothers. I don’t want to have any children,” she said. Resentment and bitterness took root in her heart.

Some years later, she got married. After been married for 3-4 years, she and her husband decided to have kids. But she couldn’t get pregnant. She went to the doctor but found nothing was wrong with her body. She went to a prayer counsellor and realized that she had made the vow not to have children.

English: Forget-me-not flowers. Türkçe: Unutma...

English: Forget-me-not flowers. Türkçe: Unutma beni çiçekleri. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Angela* (not her real name) was sexually molested by her cousins at a young age.

“I would never trust a man,” she said.

In her personal life, she went from one relationship to the next. Finally, she did get married, but experienced marital problems. She kept secrets from her husband and found it hard to be intimate with him. Jody didn’t realize where this was coming from because she had forgiven her offenders.

She went for spiritual counseling and through prayer, she discovered that she had vowed that she would never trust men. When she repented, the vow was broken. After that, she was able to open up to her husband emotionally and intimately.

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs 18:21, MSG.

The inner vows we make in our childhood, whether consciously or unconsciously, shape our character over time. When we make statements accompanied by strong emotions, with an unyielding bitter compromise, it takes a foothold in our life.  It makes our heart hard in that area. These inner vows have been long forgotten, but remain in the invisible realm of our consciousness. The Holy Spirit is the only One who can bring them to the surface.

“Do not harden your hearts, as they were hardened once when you provoked me, and put me to the test in the wilderness.” Hebrews 3:8, KNOX.

Inner vows need to be discovered, repented of and broken. Allow the Holy Spirit to search out your heart, so that you can repent and break its negative effect over your life.

Lord, I need Your help to reveal any inner vow I have made that is hindering my life. I give You permission to walk back through my life and find these hidden areas. Let the hidden things be revealed. As You reveal these inner vows I have spoken over myself, I ask for forgiveness and I repent of this sin. I renounce and reject the hold it has had over my life. I break agreement with this vow and the enemy’s influence over my life. Thank You for Your for Your forgiveness and releasing me from this inner vow.

In Jesus’ Name. Amen

Putting Away Anger

“Why won’t someone really love me for who I am?”

English: Angry woman.

English: Angry woman. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

All of us feel the need to be loved, but when we feel unloved, we respond to feelings of rejection with anger. Many of us don’t associate our anger with the need for love. But when we feel a right or need that has not been fulfilled in our life, we will experience disappointment and anger. The sense of love brings stability in our lives and without it we will feel unstable and incomplete.

The source of true love is always God, but the relationships we had, especially early in our lives, formulate what we think about love.

A single woman named Mary* (not her real name) in her early 40s was mad and frustrated, because while her friends are married with children, she is all alone by herself. She looked for relationships in church and not the bar scene. But even when she opened herself up to the relationship, it didn’t work out. She was unable to find a lasting relationship and suffered with anger. She became extremely angry and depressed.

One day, Mary said to God, “You didn’t give me a husband, you didn’t give me a husband!”

Rejection flames the fire of anger.

“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” Ephesians 4:26, MSG.

We can put down anger and receive the love we deserve by declaring the Word of God. Listen to yourself — what you say about yourself, especially during the times when anger seems to be rampant in your thoughts. Replace these thoughts with the Word of God.

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” NIV

Father, forgive me for my anger, which comes from a disappointment of feeling that I have a right to be loved.  Only You can give me the unconditional love I desire. I repent of this anger and ask You to release it from my life.  This includes everyone I have anger towards, and anyone who has disappointed me, including You and myself.  I declare I will do as scripture says “by never letting anger get a hold on me, but will deal with it immediately.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Embracing God as My Father

The greatest revelation I have ever had in my life was to find out that God was truly my Father. He just wasn’t God up in the sky, or Jesus in my heart. He was God, my Father. Whatever kind of father you have, you might have placed his characteristics on your heavenly Father. That is just what I did.

For me, having the concept of God as my heavenly Father was only an intellectual ascent. But the day, I understood that God was my biggest Fan, and He truly loved me unconditionally, changed my very life.

Sunset at Porto Covo

Sunset at Porto Covo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I remember a time in prayer when He began to pour His love on me. The first time, I experienced this was at a prayer meeting. God begin to say, “I love you, I love you, I love you over and over.”

This was the first time, I heard God say, “I love you, Brenda. I’ve covered you with my love.

I felt a warm and cozy feeling come over me, and I could not stop crying. I felt something touch my back. I almost looked around to see if there was anybody there. I opened my eyes, but there was no one.

Then, I heard these words, “I’ve got your back and I AM for you.

I can’t explain it, but for the first time I felt valuable to someone, and that someone cared about me. I didn’t have to face this life alone. It’s like I had my personal cheerleader saying, “You go girl, you can do it. I have your back.”

This is where I learned to call him, “My Papa, my Daddy.” Calling him Papa has changed my relationship with him. There is nothing my Papa won’t do for me, because I am His special child.

God wants all of us to know how much He loves us, and how special we are to Him. He is our greatest Encourager. He is always rooting for us, because He knows we will always win. God has happy thoughts toward you every day.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3, NIV

Sit on your Daddy’s lap, and let Him tell you how special you are to Him.

“My child, on the day you were born, I hovered over you with excitement, knowing my beautiful creation had come to fulfillment. I have always wanted you. You were never a mistake in my eyes. I wanted to show you how much I love to shower you with blessings, grace and mercy, because you are my child made in my image. Your earthly parents are only stewards of you, but truly, you belong to Me. I desire to have an intimate relationship with you. I am a good Papa. Whatever you need I will provide, feel free to ask Me. My love for you will never stop, never grow old, and never lose potency.

You may have read in My Word that I rejoice over you with singing. This is true. Open up your ears and heart, you may hear me singing to you. There is nothing more valuable in this universe that I have created other than you. I am your greatest Fan, your greatest Cheerleader and your greatest Encourager. I gave up my Son, Jesus, so that I could gain you back. I will never let you go. I want the opportunity for us to get to know each other better.

Love, Your Heavenly Father, God Almighty.

“…and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:19, ESV

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16, NIV

When the Hurt Won’t Go Away

When my husband left me, I felt a deep and hurting loss…

All of us can remember a hurt that was so devastating that we seem to be unable to shake it. Sometimes, the hurt just doesn’t seem to go away. We have done all we know to do. We have taken all the steps and prayed all the prayers, but still the hurt continues every time we think about it.

Illustration of a garage door.

Illustration of a garage door. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

After my husband left me, I couldn’t get myself together and I went into depression. One day, I drove out of the garage with the automatic door still closed. I almost crashed through the metal door and broke the garage door opener. That was when I realized that I needed help. I went to the doctor to get pills to help me to focus, but that didn’t help. It only gave me a big stomachache.

Grief has its seasons. Even though I knew the process of inner healing, I needed help.

I went to a professional Christian counselor to deal with the feelings of hurt, anger and loneliness. Through consistent prayer counseling, I was able to get relief and the help I needed.

If the hurt has consumed you, and has taken over your life, it is time you seek out help. We are not placed on this earth by ourselves. From time to time, we need to get the right kind of help from others who can guide us over these difficulties.

Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” James 5:16, ESV.

Sin may be wrong thoughts or ungodly beliefs that you hold concerning the situation. Sometimes we are so close to our present situation that we aren’t able to get a clear perspective on it, and you need professional help. You might consider going to your pastor, counselor, therapist, or life coach.

Father, help me to be honest with You and with myself.  This pain is too much for me to bear alone. Let me not hide my pain any longer. Let me recognize when I need help.  Please lead me to someone who can help me walk through this.  Your Word tells me that You will direct and guide me by Your Spirit, therefore I trust You to direct me to that person.

In Jesus Name, thank You for meeting my need.

When You Are Rejected

I was passed over for a role in a school play. My teacher gave it to her favorite student. I was deeply hurt. I asked, “What was wrong with me?”

What does rejection look like? It’s like having a hole in your bucket.

Someone's going to get a wet surprise.

Someone’s going to get a wet surprise. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There’s song that goes, “There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry. Well then, fix it dear Liza, dear Liza.”

Nothing can stay in a bucket with a hole.

Rejection can be defined as “To refuse or accept a person. Throw away, discard, or to cast out. To refuse or unsatisfactory.”

When we are rejected, we build walls around ourselves to protect ourselves. We don’t want people to see our insecurity, loneliness, self-pity, or vanity. We project a negative self-image upon ourselves; and become critical and reject ourselves and others. This cycle of rejection undercuts our relationships with God and others.

No matter how much love you receive, you still do not feel loved. It’s like being in a love vacuum, because you cannot retain the love you receive. Thus, to compensate for feeling unloved, we fill our lives with things such as possessions, recognition, careers, etc. Some of us go the negative route of becoming pleasure and addiction seeking.

When my husband left me, I felt devasted. I felt insecure and less than. I felt like a failure and I had disappointed God.

Being rejected breaks down your value. I would often second guess myself. I went through the process of inner healing, because only God can heal those hurts and seal up the hole in bucket. He gave me stability and a sense of value in my life. Nothing could fill up that hole, only a revelation of God and how much I meant to Him.

Sometimes, as a woman, we feel that marriage is a completion of us, but God reminded me that I am only complete in Him. Marriage does not define my womanhood. I am a woman by God’s design. He sealed that bucket when I became a daughter of the King.