Trying to Help God Out

Society tells us, “To be complete, we need a mate.” We desire a mate because as women, our desire is to have someone to love and to be loved in return. We want a family because we derive our identity through relationships. The closest earthly relationship that we can have is between a husband and wife.

I found myself being desperate because time had passed me by and I was no longer of the age to bear children. When my husband-to-be came into my life, I was so excited about getting married that I ignored my own principle about marriage counseling. I was more concerned with the idea of getting married than the person I was marrying. I had always said that I would go through pre-marital counseling, but I didn’t. I ignored the warning signs such as his financial instability, his many previous marriages, and counsel from close friends. I was looking at my husband-to-be through rose-colored glasses.

I was elated at the chance to get married since I was no “spring chicken.” I tried to cover over our differences and spiritualize our union by saying we would be able to work together in the ministry. I was so caught up with the idea of getting married that I stopped focusing on building the relationship. I lied to myself, saying that some of our incompatibilities were very little and we could overcome them through prayer. But I was really more in love with the idea of marriage than with my spouse-to-be.

In the beginning we were happy and tried hard to make it work because we did not want to disappoint God. I didn’t realize that I had missed the major road signs and the hard fact that he was not the right person for me, and neither was I the right person for him. My mother had great reservations about us getting married but she didn’t want to interfere in my life. Needless to say, this marriage did not have a good start as both of us were in deception about each other.

You might be saying, “You prayed and you still missed the mark.” Yes, I saw only what I wanted to see. God does not take away our free will. We are not infallible, only God is.

Do not be in a hurry to marry someone just because you feel the biological clock is ticking. It is better to be single and happy than to be married and unhappy.

God does not need our help. His plan is to give you a future and a hope. Give God all the time He needs to bring that person to you. Don’t allow the devil to trick you into thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. With the wrong person, it is like living in weeds. Life is not over; there is still time for God to fulfill His promise to you.

Prayer of Healing

Father, forgive me for not trusting You enough to bring the right man/woman into my life. I ask for Your forgiveness for all the times I have tried to fulfill getting a mate through my own efforts and agenda. Today, I decide I will not go ahead of You, just like Sarah did in the Bible when she gave her maid-servant Hagar to Abraham that produced the child Ishmael. I will take hold of the promise in Isaiah 34:16 that You will send the right mate for me. By faith, I thank You for providing my mate.

Seek out the book of the Lord and read: not one of these [details of prophecy] shall fail; none shall want and lack her mate [in fulfillment], for the mouth [of the Lord] has commanded, and His Spirit has gathered them. Isaiah 34:16 (AMP).

If God is concerned about bringing mates for His creation, how concerned He must be about bringing a mate for you, His most valuable creation.


Update for Book

Keep an eye out for my book, Lord, Deliver Me From Me, which is expected to be released by the end of September!


Embracing God as My Father

Dr Brenda Stratton

The greatest revelation I have ever had in my life was to find out that God was truly my Father. He just wasn’t God up in the sky, or Jesus in my heart. He was God, my Father. Whatever kind of father you have, you might have placed his characteristics on your heavenly Father. That is just what I did.

For me, having the concept of God as my heavenly Father was only an intellectual ascent. But the day, I understood that God was my biggest Fan, and He truly loved me unconditionally, changed my very life.

I remember a time in prayer when He began to pour His love on me. The first time, I experienced this was at a prayer meeting. God begin to say, “I love you, I love you, I love you over and over.”

This was the first time, I heard God say, “I love…

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When You Think You Can’t Go On Anymore

“I can’t go on, Lord. I have had enough,” I said to myself one Sunday evening. I placed a bottle of sleeping pills in front of me as I sat on my bed.


pills (Photo credit: Mouse)

I had been depressed for several months. I was extremely stressed working in my job, and I was upset with God that I was still single. I was already in my 30s and still not yet married. My hopes and dreams were dashed.

For several months, I went through the motions of going to church every Sunday, and serving Him in full time ministry. But I felt that my life was going in a direction that I had no control over. I felt hopeless and all alone in this world. I was ashamed and didn’t talk to anyone because I felt family and friends wouldn’t understand.

I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up in pain anymore. I cried out to God to take away my pain.

“I waited and waited and waited for God.
 At last he looked; finally he listened.
 He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip.” Psalms 40:1-2, MSG.

During this time, God reminded me that I have an enemy, Satan, who would love to get credit for cutting my life short. But God showed me that my life was greater than my present circumstances, and what I was experiencing now, did not determine my future.

Life isn’t always fair, but God is just. I didn’t have the last say so over my life, He did, and my future was blessed. God begin to speak life into my destiny, to give me hope.

“The days of my life all prepared
 before I’d even lived one day.” Psalms 139:16, MSG

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

Prayer of Healing

Father, I thank You that You are showing me that I am not without hope. Hope says that there is always the expectation of good coming to me. Lord, Your good surrounds me like a shield. Lord, help me to remember You are the only one that has the authority to give and take life. Forgive me for not honoring Your authority as I consider taking matters into my own hands. Show me the wonderful destiny and plans You have for me.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Leaving the Past Behind

“If you don’t do this now you may never do it,” I told myself. I knew it was time for me to move on and take a step of faith.

English: a moving train captured from another ...

English: a moving train captured from another train (stationed) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It is hard to leave the known and familiar for the unknown, even when we know what we are holding onto is blocking our future.

It was time for me to resign from my job and start my own ministry. My heart had already moved on from the place where I presently was, but my body continued to be there, going through all the physical motions. It was difficult to leave a job that gave me a salary, and to start raising my own support from scratch.

I had wanted to stay in my comfort zone even though I knew I could not fulfill the dream God gave me. God did me a favor by leading my heart out first, so that it would be easier for me to follow physically.

God is always moving us forward into greater areas of our destiny, but when we stop to build a monument to our past, it holds us back from focusing on our future.

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.” Philippians 3:13, ESV

No matter how difficult our past was, we sometimes cling on to it and refuse to let it go. It could be a dead end job, a failed marriage, a hurtful childhood or an abusive relationship.

Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?”  Isaiah 43: 18-19, MSG

Let’s not carry the past around like excess bag. Learn from our past life lessons and move on. God wants to give a fresh sheet of paper to write our new future, and not to rewrite the old past.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so.” Unknown

“Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind. C. S. Lewis

 “When one door closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

God has a wonderful plan for our life! Go, take the plunge to move out from your past and into your destiny. Say Good-Bye to the past! Even if you are afraid, do it anyway.

“I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11, MSG

Heavenly Father, help me to be bold enough to put my past behind me so that I can step into my hopeful future with You.  Show me the lessons that my past held so that I can learn from them as well as avoid the same pitfalls. Thank You for loving me so much that You are committed to seeing me fulfilled my destiny. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Lies We Believe

“I will never do that again,” “I will never over eat like that,” “I will never spend that much money again”

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Description unavailable (Photo credit: d e x t e r .)

We vow to ourselves that we won’t do certain behaviors and actions ever again. We promise ourselves over and over again that we won’t do it, only to find ourselves doing it again. Where do those lies come from? Sometimes these lies come from us, other people’s values and influences, or by Satan himself.

Satan is always trying to devalue us, and to make us think that God is not for us. He wants us to believe a lie about God and about ourselves. He tells us a lie, and makes it seem that it is true. When we buy into it, we own the lie as if this is what we truly believe, or accept as the truth about us and our circumstances.

Lies We Hear 

Growing up as a child, we are often influenced by our families, those in authority and friends who spoke both truth and lies into our life that we assumed as facts.

  • “You are stupid, you will never be as good as your sister or brother.”
  • “Strong boys never cry.”
  • “You are too fat.”
  • “You’re not very good looking.”

When we began to take them into our soul, we begin to list them as facts, and act as if this is really true about ourselves.

Lies Man Tell

  • “It’s all my bosses’ fault why I am not promoted”
  • “I lost my job because of the economic recession.”
  • “I lost job because my bosses’ friend took the job away from me.”
  • “I was not promoted because I didn’t get the support from my wife at home when I needed it most.”

Man lies about his work because he derives his identity from his work. God gave man work before He gave him a woman.

Lies Woman Tell

  • “I am too fat. I can’t compete with younger and beautiful woman.”
  • “I am not worth being loved, so I stayed in this abusive relationship because this is the best I can do.”
  • “He just trying to encourage me when he tells me that I am ugly and fat.”

Woman lies about how she feels about her relationships, because a woman was given to the man to be a helpmate. She finds her fulfillment in a home and being a helpmate.

Flower photo

Flower photo (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Who We Really Are

God wants us to go to the Word and find out who we really are. We are the most valuable being in the universe because it cost God, the Father, His Son, and it cost Jesus, His life for us. When we replace the lie with the truth of God’s word, we will gain freedom to speak the truth about who we are.

For a long time, I felt that God favored other people instead of me. Their lives looked better than mine. They had better jobs and better relationships. Therefore, I believed that God doesn’t love me the same way He loved others.

I knew this wasn’t right and that was the lie. As I began questioning God, new thoughts rose up in my spirit.

God is my greatest cheerleader, and He felt an extravagant love for me. There was nothing He wouldn’t do for me.

I replaced the negative thoughts with the truth, and this has brought such joy to my heart.

“If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” John 14:23, ESV

Replace the lies about yourself with the truth of God’s Word. When we learn to speak God’s Word about ourselves, we will be truthful to ourselves.

Father, I ask You to free me from all the lies I believed about myself. Unveil Your truth into my being so that I may see what You see about me and who I am. Free me from all the lies I believed from my childhood, and from other people’s influence. I will not be controlled by the lies of others, because I choose God’s freedom and to walk in truth. Thank You for freeing me from false identity, fear, confusion, and Satan’s deception.

In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Fallen Off the Wagon

I have been a professional dieter almost all my adult life. I have lost the weight of at least three people, and gained the size of six people. I have tried every diet that is out there. I have tried juicing and eating correctly. I seem to do well for a while, and then I fall off the wagon.

Weight and height are used in computing body m...

Weight and height are used in computing body mass index, an indicator of risk for developing obesity-associated diseases. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We all have something in our lives that we just can’t get the victory over.  It may not be “Big Sin” issues, it could be just a habit we can’t overcome. This alone can make us feel like a failure.

I promised God that I would do better by vowing, “I will never eat like that again.” But the key lime pie would somehow jump out of the plate into my mouth, down to my stomach without my consent :). There is a reason why I haven’t been able to gain freedom in my eating habits. It is because I haven’t faced the truth about this area of my life. I am addicted to food!

I have to admit that I loved to eat, and I have not surrendered this area to God. I give it to Him and take it back. It’s like rolling a ball by pushing it away, and then I run over to the other side and take the ball back.

God will take care of those areas if you submit them to Him.

Roll your works upon the Lord commit (and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and) so shall your plans be established and succeed.” Proverbs 16:3, AMP

I have to admit that when this area stays submitted under God, I find success. God gives us grace each day to start afresh. He doesn’t condemn us when we fail.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1, ESV

I am finding victory in God one day at a time.

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” Mary Engelbreit

Let’s truly submit those difficult areas to God and leave them with Him. Get His perspective of what you need to overcome while focusing on the power of the Cross.

Father, forgive me for living my life apart from You in this area of my life. I repent for not surrendering, taking back and yielding to You. You do not see me as a failure so I will not see myself that way.  I surrender ________________(name the area) into Your hands, and I trust that You will direct me in gaining victory in this area. I realize that the Cross and the Blood of Jesus has made me victorious already. Thank You.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

When Words Can Kill

“You can’t trust men, they are all the same,” “I will never have a baby,” “I can’t talk in public,” “I’ll get even with them if it’s the last thing I do,” “I will never love anyone like that anymore.”

Words are containers that bring us blessing or curses. You choose the words to speak life or death.

Flower photo

Flower photo (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Jody* (not her real name) was the eldest of five children, and her parents had to work all the time. Since the tender age of six, Jody had to take care of her siblings like she was the mom. She fed them, bathed them, and cooked for them. Jody grew up resenting her role. She had to be a mom to her siblings until she was 18.

“I raised my sisters and brothers. I don’t want to have any children,” she said. Resentment and bitterness took root in her heart.

Some years later, she got married. After been married for 3-4 years, she and her husband decided to have kids. But she couldn’t get pregnant. She went to the doctor but found nothing was wrong with her body. She went to a prayer counsellor and realized that she had made the vow not to have children.

English: Forget-me-not flowers. Türkçe: Unutma...

English: Forget-me-not flowers. Türkçe: Unutma beni çiçekleri. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Angela* (not her real name) was sexually molested by her cousins at a young age.

“I would never trust a man,” she said.

In her personal life, she went from one relationship to the next. Finally, she did get married, but experienced marital problems. She kept secrets from her husband and found it hard to be intimate with him. Jody didn’t realize where this was coming from because she had forgiven her offenders.

She went for spiritual counseling and through prayer, she discovered that she had vowed that she would never trust men. When she repented, the vow was broken. After that, she was able to open up to her husband emotionally and intimately.

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs 18:21, MSG.

The inner vows we make in our childhood, whether consciously or unconsciously, shape our character over time. When we make statements accompanied by strong emotions, with an unyielding bitter compromise, it takes a foothold in our life.  It makes our heart hard in that area. These inner vows have been long forgotten, but remain in the invisible realm of our consciousness. The Holy Spirit is the only One who can bring them to the surface.

“Do not harden your hearts, as they were hardened once when you provoked me, and put me to the test in the wilderness.” Hebrews 3:8, KNOX.

Inner vows need to be discovered, repented of and broken. Allow the Holy Spirit to search out your heart, so that you can repent and break its negative effect over your life.

Lord, I need Your help to reveal any inner vow I have made that is hindering my life. I give You permission to walk back through my life and find these hidden areas. Let the hidden things be revealed. As You reveal these inner vows I have spoken over myself, I ask for forgiveness and I repent of this sin. I renounce and reject the hold it has had over my life. I break agreement with this vow and the enemy’s influence over my life. Thank You for Your for Your forgiveness and releasing me from this inner vow.

In Jesus’ Name. Amen